Listening Is Harder Than It Sounds – Especially for Leaders

In professional services, listening is currency. Clients offer insight not just into what they think of your work, but how your firm is perceived, how relationships are evolving, and where future opportunity (or risk) lies. Internally, the same applies: listening well is a competitive advantage. But new research suggests most leaders, despite their best intentions, are not as good at it as they think.

A meta-analysis of 117 studies, published in Harvard Business Review, identifies five reasons why listening fails, and what to do about it. Each is relevant not just for internal management, but for any firm serious about acting on client feedback.

1. Haste

In leadership, speed is often mistaken for decisiveness. But rushed listening leads to poor decisions and eroded trust. A cautionary tale comes from the CEO of MillerKnoll, who shut down a question about bonuses with the now-infamous line: “Leave pity city.” It went viral for all the wrong reasons.

Lesson: Schedule time to listen properly. Remove distractions. Ask clarifying questions. If you can’t answer immediately, commit to a follow-up. In client listening programmes, this principle applies doubly: nothing undermines feedback faster than a hurried response or vague platitudes.

2. Defensiveness

Criticism is uncomfortable – especially when it touches on policies, culture or leadership decisions. But reacting defensively, as several CEOs in the article did, derails the listening process. At best, it shuts down dialogue. At worst, it sparks walkouts.

Lesson: In the moment, pause. Paraphrase what you’ve heard before replying. Ask for more detail. When clients raise awkward truths – about inconsistent service, underwhelming delivery or poor communication – it’s not an attack. It’s a gift. Treat it as such.

3. Invisibility

Listening is not just a cognitive act; it’s a performance. If people can’t see that you’re listening, they won’t believe you are. The article highlights cases where leaders were making changes behind the scenes but failed to communicate them, leaving employees disillusioned.

Lesson: Use “back channel” signals (things like nodding, eye contact, and summarising what’s been said) to show you’re engaged. In a client listening context, this means acknowledging feedback explicitly, referencing it in strategy updates, and crediting clients when their suggestions lead to change.

4. Exhaustion

Listening is emotionally and cognitively draining. Leaders spread too thin become poor listeners – snapping, drifting or simply going through the motions. The research notes that overburdened managers are more likely to become irritable or disengaged.

Lesson: Guard your bandwidth. Delegate where appropriate. Share the listening load. In professional services firms, partners often bear the brunt of client interactions. But systematic listening, via structured interviews or independent research, can distribute the effort and increase reliability.

5. Inaction

The final sin is silence. Listening without follow-through is worse than not listening at all. It breeds cynicism and kills future feedback. One study cited in the article involved nurses during the pandemic who had voiced concerns repeatedly, but nothing changed. The result: disaffection, disengagement, and ultimately attrition.

Lesson: Always close the loop. Acknowledge what’s been said. Clarify what will (or won’t) be done. In client feedback terms, this means turning data into decisions, and letting clients know what’s changed because of their input.

The Takeaway

Listening is not a soft skill. It’s a strategic act. For firms in the business of advice, service and long-term relationships, mastering it is non-negotiable. But it requires time, discipline and self-awareness.

The HBR research confirms what many in client-facing roles already suspect: it’s easy to ask for feedback, harder to act on it well. The good news is that listening can be improved by slowing down, staying open, being visible, managing energy, and following through.

Client listening, done properly, doesn’t just yield insights. It builds resilience. In a market where differentiation is elusive and loyalty is fragile, that’s a source of real advantage.

For the full article, visit HBR.org for Are You Really a Good Listener? by Jeffrey Yip and Colin M. Fisher.